Humans are so 2013. A new Facebook page promises to tell the stories behind the faces, sockets, and hydraulics of MIT’s robots.

The clever satire takes a few liberties (few of the robots are technically from MIT, and one even proudly sports a Georgia Tech banner in the background), but the “interviews” are spot on, whether chronicling early automaton romance:

“I’m actually on my way to meet someone right now. Yeah, I’m a little bit nervous. Feeling that first date adrenaline. Cooling system is cranked, Processor is overclocked: check and check. It doesn’t bother me–I think it’s really beautiful when you feel physical manifestations of your emotional state. That’s what makes somebody into like a fully cohesive being, do you know what I mean?

or robotic family life:

“We always talked about a little one. A miniature metallic hunk of joy, puttering around the lab. An R2D2 costume for halloween. Watching the pathways in her artificial neural network evolve. She’d have Ted’s emotive capabilities and my fine motor skills.

So far, I’ve spotted Domo, which actually is an MIT robot; Atlas, from Boston Dynamics; Robothespian, which is a standup bot from the UK; and Rethink Robotics’ Baxter. Not bad as far as local representation goes.

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